The only expert your baby really needs is you
The modern landscape of parenting has become a maze of advice, opinions, and expert recommendations, often leaving new mothers overwhelmed and unsure of their own instincts. From the moment our babies are born, we’re bombarded with information—some of it helpful, but much of it contradictory. One of the clearest examples of this is the rise of sleep consultants. The explosion of these so-called experts reflects a broader trend: a proliferation of people claiming to know what’s best for your baby. But what if we turned the spotlight back onto the one person who knows your baby better than anyone else—you?
It’s easy to see why we get caught in the web of expert advice. As new mothers, we want to do everything right, to make sure our babies are thriving. We read the books, join the online forums, and book the consultations, all in search of answers to our anxieties. I know this all too well because I spent the first six months of my baby’s life doing exactly that—going from expert to expert, trying to figure out what was wrong. But here’s the thing: there wasn’t really anything wrong with my baby. What was wrong was the system that convinced me there was.
What my baby truly needed was a healthy, present mother—someone who wasn’t caught up in the frenzy of fixing, but who was instead tuned into her baby’s unique rhythms and needs. She needed time to develop, to adjust to the world at her own pace, and to be nurtured in an environment of love and calm, not one of anxiety and over-analysis.
How would it feel to read your baby instead of the books? To trust your own inner wisdom rather than someone else’s opinion? Imagine letting go of the need to constantly search for answers outside of yourself and instead finding one expert—or perhaps none—whose voice truly resonates with your own. For me, that voice was neuroscientist Greer Kirshenbaum in The Nurture Revolution. Her approach spoke to the part of me that just wanted to love and nurture my baby back to sleep, to hold her close, to respond to her cries with empathy rather than trying to train her.
I’m not saying there’s no place for expert advice—sometimes we really do need that outside perspective to navigate a particularly tricky situation. But I believe we need to be more discerning about who we listen to. Not every expert has the answers you’re looking for, and not every problem is one that needs to be solved. Sometimes, our babies just need time, patience, and a mother who feels supported and confident in her own ability to care for them.
So, to all the new mums out there: I hope this post encourages you to tune back into your inner voice, to start trusting your own intuition, and to cut out the noise that so often drowns it out. You know your baby better than anyone else ever will. You are their expert. And sometimes, all they really need is you—just as you are.